


Grief in a Mathematical Sense

by Giroshane



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Not really a story just a sort of headcanon thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2307995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giroshane/pseuds/Giroshane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No numbers that Hermann can write will ever be close enough to explain to him what God’s handwriting was like when He wrote this into existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grief in a Mathematical Sense

**Author's Note:**

> my original tumblr post: http://giroshane.tumblr.com/post/81651705281/pacific-rim-grief-in-a-mathematical-sense
> 
> made a few edits, but yeah

When Newton dies first,  _if_  Newt dies first, rest assured Hermann will be the one to take it the hardest. He will be the one to drop to his knees because  _damn_  his leg  _damn it to hell._  He will be the one cradling Newton’s body because  _goddammit you hyperactive moron this was never supposed to happen._  Hermann will be the the one unable to handle it because this is the one time he can’t use math as a buffer. He can’t distance himself because Newton Geiszler is the exact  _opposite_ of distance. All inappropriate tattoos and loud voice and  _boundaries what boundaries you didn’t even know what the word meant you twit_. He will be the one screaming in anger and desperation and hysteria, shaking a corpse just because maybe by some sort of miracle it will bring him back, just  _bring him back you fucking piece of bullshit up in Heaven._ No numbers that Hermann can write will ever be close enough to explain to him what God’s handwriting was like when He wrote  _this_  into existence. Newton Geiszler was his foundation, his fucking  _anchor_ , the one who kept Hermann humble and stimulated and yes maybe his singing was awful and yes maybe his dancing wasn’t much better and yes he had no concept of social cues and yes  _he was the most annoying idiotic genius in all of creation but he was a_   ** _fixture_**. Years of cohabitating and Hermann can’t imagine life without the incessant talking or yelling or fighting. It’s scientifically impossible.  _It has to be_. Hermann will be the one who is uncontrollable. Hermann will be the one they have to drag away kicking and screaming just so they can collect Newton’s lifeless body because  _it can’t be lifeless Newton is life Newton is kinetic energy and gravity and passion and velocity all at once_. Hermann will be the one who is utterly inconsolable and hysterical, not until Raleigh knocks him out and he wakes up with Mako sitting next to him quietly, eyes red and puffy and sad and worried, and even then not even Tendo’s words of consolation and wisdom can comfort him. Hermann will be the one who lingers last at the tombstone. And sure maybe he’ll move on and find love and continue work, but rest assured that no matter how many years pass, whenever he talks aloud to himself he will wait for a high-pitched voice to tease him for it. Whenever he opens the fridge, he will expect disorganized leftovers and perhaps a Kaiju gut or two. Whenever he turns from his chalkboard he’ll expect to see the hazmat tape line and the chaotic lab it separates him from. Whenever he’s alone he’ll hear the voice of a man he once knew and hated and loved say “Fortune favors the brave, dude.” and know that those words have been scientifically proven to be completely and  _stupidly_ and  _unfairly_ and  _utterly_  untrue. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The moral of the story is never listen to sad music
> 
> I'm just kidding listen to sad music all the time so you can get sad death headcanons about your favorite characters ALL THE TIME because oh boy isn't that fun


End file.
